Tx, I know exactly how you feel. I was raised a codependent in a family with an alcoholic parent, and so much of what I *thought* was noble and selfless and admirable about myself was actually just the result of never learning how to have boundaries or a healthy sense of self-esteem. I didn't see that until I was thirty-two years old, but I can tell you that now, at forty-five, with a lot of therapy and self-care under my belt, I find it hard to remember what it felt like to be that way.
If I can recover, anyone can!