Ladybird......I pretty much agree with what Ladybird has just posted.....
***I do wonder where his vehicle, keys and pants are....because, if he doesn't know...due to alcoholic blackout or possible head injury from being assaulted or in an accident..or some other questionable activity in that particular neighborhood...this would be something to be of concern....
Living with alcoholism and wanting the partner to go into real recovery can push a person to the edges of desperation....and lead us, ourselves, to behaving in ways that we don't even recognize or want to be.....
We come to feel like our very lives and our way of life depends on the actions of another person. That is how much their alcoholism comes to control us.
I think it is safe to say that the alcoholism affects the loved ones as much as it affects the alcoholic.....
I think that the boundary that you set, already needs to be enforced...or your words will ring hollow to him....and, you are still living in the middle of this chaos....
I think getting some distance, for yourself would give you a chance to think clearly and assess your situation without so much strong emotion on board....
It is helpful to cling to the support of those who have been through this, and to the professionals who can help you with your decision making and your own needs....
When you leave, you do need a plan A...and, a plan B....and C....
Bottom line...he is going to do whatever he is going to do...the question, is, as always...what are you going to do?
Keep your own welfare in mind....and you will figure it out...
He is not capable of dealing with your welfare...he can't even take care of himself.....
***I am saying all of this without knowing if there has been any abuse (I know there has been verbal abuse), other than what you have said. If there has been abuse of the unsafe kind....that makes the necessity of getting other kinds of help more immediate....