1. Should I have let him get arrested?
2. Should / how do I get him into inpatient again?
3. He has his first apot with a psychiatrist monday. Should I insist on going?
4. Should I leave if he doesn't go back to inpatient?
5. Are the lines of enabling really as blurry as I think during early recovery (or post treatment), or should I just stamp a big E on my forehead?
Its to late for shoulds and should nots. You set a boundary of not wanting to be around him when he is actively drinking so I' d say make sure you have somewhere you can take the dogs in future. Going back after 2 hours will make him believe you don't mean it.
I would have let him get arrested. It's not about tough love its about him accepting responsibility for what he does and realising his actions have consequences. However you didn't and it's done now. Don't beat yourself up over it.
Only you can decide if you want to leave if he doesn't get help. You have said you don't want to stay if he is drinking so I guess that answers that.
He will only get help if and when he feels like it. You can't get him help. You can't make him get into inpatient, therapy or anything else. It 's got to be motivated by him. I don't believe in rock bottoms either ...sorry to say. Some have no bottom. My exah has no bottom. He has died 3 times and had cpr 3 times and is dying now but he still drinks.