Did I just make a huge mistake?
Hi all,
I've been lurking for a few months and am posting in one of my darkest moments. I appreciate all the information and support found here.
Cliffs notes:
Husband volintarily completed 30 day inpatient 20 days ago and is attending outpatient 3 days a week.
His aa meeting attendence is sporadic, but I have kept my mouth shut to not interfere in his treatment plan.
I have been attending alanon meetings weekly, sometimes twice a week (the max available to me) and reading on codependency.
He has never been in legal trouble, alcohol related or otherwise.
I was hopeful regarding his recovery, although I'm a realist. I have noticed paws symptoms, but nothing too alarming.
We got into a fight last night, which started with him questioning my intentions and need for alanon. I felt he was intentionally pressing my buttons and it worked eventually. I snapped, screamed, and threw a cup.
This morning he seemed normal and kept encouraging me to go to the meeting. I didn't. He went to the store and came back super drunk. I remanded calm, waited until he woke from a 2 hour nap and ate, then offered to take him to an aa meeting. He became hostile and denied drinking (there were empty bottles in his truck).
I calmly packed my bags. I told him I wasnt going to live with him actively drinking (a set, known boundary), told him to call me if he decided to pusue sobriety again and left with the dogs. None of the petfriedly hotels in my budget had last minute vacancies, so I took them to the park and returned about 2 hours later.
He was gone. I was hopeful he went to the aa meeting. One hour passed, maybe he stayed and went to the one after? Another 30 minutes, maybe he found a sponser and is getting to know them?!?
Knock knock...it was the police.
He was found walking around an adjacent neghborhood wearing nothing but a shirt and baseball cap. I explained the situation, and they asked if I wanted to pick him up instead of having him arrested for public intoxication and indescent exposure. I did. And I am struggling with that choice.
I do not know why he was in that neighborhood, or where his pants, keys, or truck is.
He is finally alseep, but spent the first couple hours calling me a crazy bitch for "doing this to him" and slamming doors.
I know you pride yourselves in not telling people what to do, but like a newbie I'm asking anyways.
1. Should I have let him get arrested?
2. Should / how do I get him into inpatient again?
3. He has his first apot with a psychiatrist monday. Should I insist on going?
4. Should I leave if he doesn't go back to inpatient?
5. Are the lines of enabling really as blurry as I think during early recovery (or post treatment), or should I just stamp a big E on my forehead?
I am so lost, confused, and alone. Thank for taking the time to read my story.