Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
Hi, Laslo, and welcome.
You've got a lot you're dealing with, there. I'd suggest as a first step, getting yourself (and your grandma, if she will go) to Al-Anon. Not only will you find a lot of support there, you can learn ways to deal with the effects of your grandfather's drinking. Has he been a hard drinker/alcoholic all your life, or is this something recent? Does he go to the doctor? You might also find some help from your local agency that provides services for the elderly.
How does grandma cope with all of this?
Yes, he has been a hard drinker all of my life, although he did have a great career (somehow.) Anyways, they fight all of the time. She leaves for a few days about twice a year, but always ends up coming back. When they fight, he quits drinking about two days, then just starts right back. This has been going on literally all of my life. Sometimes, I just feel like quitting my job, grabbing a backpack and heading out west just to see the world and to get away. Then reality and bills hit me in the face. And yes, he goes to the doctor, but tells them he doesn't drink. They are not stupid though, I'm sure.