Thank you everyone. It really is a huge support to have people who have "succeeded" in breaking the cycle. I know it's not something you're ever cured of, but hearing from people with the same struggles I am having being 8, 16, 22+ months sober and more is really encouraging. I have to remind myself of everyone I hear saying "Life is better without alcohol" and knowing they mean it. It seems like it'd be so easy to just go get drunk and laugh and hate myself in the morning. I am determined not to.
I feel like the week-ten day mark will be rough for me (trying not to psych myself out) only because I already feel SO much better during the day that little ******* in my mind starts saying "well, you feel great after 2, 3, 4 days, just drink tonight and we will start again tomorrow". I know that will likely reach a peak a couple weeks in. I just have to remind myself how terrible I feel the next day.
I go see my GP next Friday, I haven't seen one in years so who knows what she will think. I am terrified to get blood drawn or go for a CT scan for fear of what irreparable damage I've done to myself, but I have to remind myself more drinking certainly won't help that. Half of me is convinced I have diabetes and the other half says what the heck you only drank heavily for 5-8 years. I guess we will see. Thanks again. Hopefully you'll see enough of me here you'll be sick of me soon.
