Sorry I had to split my posts again, but I wrote out another huge one this morning before meeting, and lost it all!! Again. So frustrating!!
Anyway, back to my ramblings. So, yesterday I shared for the first time. Then , after meeting, I got the phone numbers of the two ladies I was telling you about in my last post. I will probably call them next week, and see what happens. I hope one of them decides to take me on. I have a special brand of crazy, so I hope one of them can accept and work with that.
There's a guy at meeting that I really like. Not like THAT!! I am definitely not his type. For sure. He is honestly, though, one of the nicest people I have ever met. He just like oozes kindness out of every pore. I swear, he is just a really good man. Anyhow, we got to talking, and he said he felt really connected to me, like he'd known me his whole life. And, that's how I feel, too. It's so weird how that happens sometimes when you meet someone.
So, he explained to me about how in NA, you have something called a support group?? I think that's what it's called. And, so I asked if he would be part of mine, and he said yes. So, now, my phone list is just growing and growing. It's just such a neat thing to see evolve!! I just feel really blessed today.
Today, I did something else that I never thought I would do. I read the 12 traditions of NA at meeting. I hate reading in front of others. Not because I can't read well, but because I get nervous, and can't see well, especially if the type is small, but I did it!! I got through it, and again, miraculously, I didn't die!! lol. I am doing SO many things that are completely out of my comfort zone, but I am doing them. Then, after I do them, and my heart palpitations go away, I am so happy I did. I like the way I feel after. Like I accomplished some major thing. I know all this sounds silly, especially to all of you who are NA regulars, but this is all new and kinda exciting to me.
One more thing, and then I'll stop babbling. I was invited to go with some of the other ladies at meeting to do a sweat lodge ceremony at the Indian reservation on Sunday. All the girls love it and swear it helps them feel really good afterward. So, I was thinking I should go, but my addict side wants to hide out and stay at home alone. Has anyone done a sweat, and did you like it?? Just curious about any experiences anyone had doing this. I am very curious, and I am trying to say yes to everything I can safely say yes to, because I am tired of the drugs isolating me. But, I am not sure about this. I can't seem to make up my mind!!
Anyways, I guess that's it for now. I am so tired, and the wds decided to get downright nasty today. So, I figure I will hang out and watch tv, eat lunch, and give my puppy some special alone time. I have barely been home, and I think she misses me. Besides, it feels nice to be able to spend an afternoon hanging out, doing nothing, because I am tired from being busy and not high. I like this tired. It feels really good.
6 days sober today and going strong!! I have no desire to use today, even though I am pretty sick. That is amazing for me. So, I know I will not use today. Just for today, I am sure of that.
Love you guys.