I am totally overwhelmed with emotion by all your lovely and supporting words. I feel incredibly lucky to have found this place and people like you. I was nervous about sharing such private and emotional content and putting it out there for everyone to read. But it's also a big relief. Steely you're right, secrets destroy us, they tear us down. And if we keep things a secret no one sees our suffering or will be able to understand and help us.
Phoenix, I still think your name is the best match. I read your story a while ago and was touched, shocked and impressed by it, how you managed to emerge from the ashes and built up a new life again where there was barely any life left. Your story is probably the best reminder that there's ALWAYS hope as long as we are alive. You must be amongst the strongest people of this lovely planet.
The who's and why's help me to detangel all this mess of mixed emotions and enable me to identify them to then hopefully be able to deal with them. I'm a pretty rational person and not very skilled on the whole emotions-topic so analysing is important.
Thank you for your empathy and support, I offer the same to you. Together we are stronger.
Back to your post, Steely. I love that vision you described, it formed into a little scene in my head where we're walking along a sunny path in the mountains, up again towards the light and the sun. It made me tear up too. Not because of sadness though but of the amount of compassion, love and understanding. I was so overwhelmed I just couldn't reply last night. I guess I'm just not used to receiving so much support and feeling welcome, safe and accepted.
Pheonix your second post added to that image in my head. I will try to remember it whenever I feel alone and hopeless. Wonderful words.
At first I thought sobriety made me voulnerable but I do no longer believe that, it makes us much stronger. Strong enough to be the best versions we can be. We no longer have to hide from our secrets and feelings. We finally become strong enough to face them and to deal with our past and then let go. Free ourselves from that extra baggage we've carried for way too long and walk into a brighter future.
I love your elephants too Steely, nothing wrong with a good bit of kitsch, especially when it has its very own, important meaning. I'd like to print them out and pin them on my wall as a reminder of all the things you said in your lovely post. Only if you don't mind, of course?
Thank you badge for your lovely response, it means a lot to me
and congratulations on 4 months, that's really amazing!
Thanks rainy and congrats on the house! Good luck with the whole moving process. I get super stressed every time I move even though I don't have that much stuff. But I find it also exciting, it's like starting a new chapter and I love renovating, furnishing and decorating places.
I'm sorry for the lack of structure and for not being able to fully express how much all of your posts meant to me (Steely, Phoenix, Badge, Rainy, Kimmy, Poppy, Dee, Abriella). I'm really bad with words when I'm emotional and it doesn't help to do it in English. If I could I would've written a beautiful poem to every single one of you, saying how touched I was by your words and how much they mean to me.