Adult child of an alcoholic here, with alcoholism running up and down my family tree.
Also an A in recovery.
2 things that have struck me as I travel my path: 1) genetics isn't destiny. For years I told myself that, given my family history, drinking was what I was meant to do.
Nope,not true at all. I have free will and the power within to put down the drink.
2) I see many things my parents have done and choices they have made as examples of how NOT to be.
I am grateful for that.
I think you should focus on your recovery, and let your parents be who they are. You don't have to be sympathetic or enabling. Just recognize that this is who they are, that they have shaped you to some degree, but, at the end of the day, you are what you make of yourself.
Congratulations on your sobriety. Clarity of mind brings insight. Peace.