The second night he was apologetic, understanding, talked about where his head was at, talked about how my points weren't valid, talked about his plans, etc.
That right there is emotional abuse through invalidation.
Don't ever let anyone, mother, father, brother, sister, husband, wife, friend, boss EVER tell you that your feelings don't matter.
It sounds like you both may need some time to sort out individual issues, feelings, needs and wants.
Often we fall into the "give them some more time" mode for a variety of reasons but then we get stuck there until the next crisis or relapse then it turns into THIS TIME I MEAN IT! it's a typical cycle in dysfunctional relationships.