Originally Posted by
aliciagr 
Why did you decide to move out?. Is it because your not satisfied with the marriage, need space to sort things out as to what you want, you dont like the way hes handling things even though hes 2 months sober - and from your earlier post- uses Anatabise, tools he learned earlier on for recovery, and occasional meetings, or do you hope to take an action that will make him have a reaction like work a recovery the way you think it should be done? Are you leaving because your afraid he will relapse again and you cant cope with it or put the kids through it?
Look at why you are doing what your doing and use this to help make your decision. I dont think your a sucker for listening to him, talking, and getting a vibe from what hes saying to you. But look deeper at why you are doing things. See, my husband is early on also, and I get scared. Ive thought several times it would be logical to leave and see what happens down the road. Its ok to feel that way. Its ok that I get scared sometimes and also want to run. However in the last case - through therapy Ive learned I cant project onto my husband my fears. what I have to do is work on my coping skills and not let it interfere with rebuilding our relationship, or let it consume me where I dont enjoy my own life.
Since his relapses are so far and few between and my kids are so young, there is virtually no impact on the kids......yet. Everything else you said would be a factor. He had no significant relapses for almost 2 years. I had began trusting him again, etc. Only to have that shattered again by his most current relapses. I feel like I am starting back at ground zero despite so much progress for a long time. And yes, I don't think he is doing enough or being passionate enough about it. He needs to make some significant lifestyle changes in my opinion. Get healthier, get sleep, counseling to learn how to better deal with frustrations, etc.
I still think I should probably leave. It would be very enlightening to see how he uses that time. I.e.- does he use it to work on himself or just do same old? Its so hard, I wish it were more consistent to be able to clearly make a decision and not question it.