Sorry about that, but I was afraid of losing my post. Ugh, I so did not want to retype all of that!!
Anyhow, since last Friday, I have fought with my mom multiple times. My electricity went out, which really sucked cuz it was like day 2 of wds, and I felt terrible, and I had no lights or heat or cable or internet. No Netflix!! Wtf!! I picked a fight with my source across the way, so now I hope she leaves me alone. My bro's being a tool, I broke another tooth, and life is just generally kicking my ass right now. I can't sleep, don't eat much. I am tired, afraid, and just generally weirded out most of the time. But, you know what?? I didn't use because of any of it. And, I feel really good about that. Something is really different this time. I can't tell you what it is, because I don't understand what I am going through at all, but something is definitely different. I feel like I am exactly where I am supposed to be. And, even though things are so hard right now, I feel like I can handle things a little better. But man, I have such a long, hard road ahead of me. I am so afraid I am going to fall down. But, one day at a time, right?? I just keep telling myself that. Over and over.
Jeez, I missed you guys!! I won't stay away so long again. Even if no one responds to my posts, I know you are all out there, with me, by my side, going through this, too. I am so grateful to have all of you!!
Ok, well, I think I'm done rambling for now. Thanks, you guys, for checking in on me, and for caring. It means a lot for someone like me who never got a lot of that in her life. But today, despite the wds, my mom, my finances, my fears, my everything, I feel happy. Or, at least I'm starting to. I'm no dummy. I know this is just the beginning of a really long, hard journey, but I don't care. I feel happy today, and I want to live in this moment right now. Tomorrow can take care of itself.
Love you guys lots.