Originally Posted by
batchel9 
I found an apartment and told AH that I found an apartment and submitted an application for it. He was shocked. The first night the convo wasn't great. The second night he was apologetic, understanding, talked about where his head was at, talked about how my points weren't valid, talked about his plans, etc. My rational head knows he is probably just trying to say what I want to hear. But he seems so sincere, I'm falling for it. He doesn't want this. It's like he just doesn't know what to do for long term success. Part of me wants to give it a month and see if more action is taken. If not, then proceed with moving out.
He's been sober about 2 months so far. I have just felt like he hasn't put forth enough effort to sustain it. Now he knows exactly where things stand and what's at stake. Just wondering if more time is appropriate or if I'm just emotional and crazy. Thoughts?!
Why did you decide to move out?. Is it because your not satisfied with the marriage, need space to sort things out as to what you want, you dont like the way hes handling things even though hes 2 months sober - and from your earlier post- uses Anatabise, tools he learned earlier on for recovery, and occasional meetings, or do you hope to take an action that will make him have a reaction like work a recovery the way you think it should be done? Are you leaving because your afraid he will relapse again and you cant cope with it or put the kids through it?
Look at why you are doing what your doing and use this to help make your decision. I dont think your a sucker for listening to him, talking, and getting a vibe from what hes saying to you. But look deeper at why you are doing things. See, my husband is early on also, and I get scared. Ive thought several times it would be logical to leave and see what happens down the road. Its ok to feel that way. Its ok that I get scared sometimes and also want to run. However in the last case - through therapy Ive learned I cant project onto my husband my fears. what I have to do is work on my coping skills and not let it interfere with rebuilding our relationship, or let it consume me where I dont enjoy my own life.