Kevlar- an apt name. I can understand the feelings now you have. My history of THAT event in your life I cannot possibly imagine. I offer empathy, support and compassion to you. I do however have some feelings that are akin. A lot of it ,apparently I have c-ptsd plus about 9 million other things, having to do with my parents. Alcohol was my only determined and logical escape. The why's and who's do not matter so much as me facing up to the feelings I have as an adult- not reliving them as a helpless child. What do I do - now to make my life better now and in the future with these emotions and feelings? You show great strength and courage in sharing this. Thank you. Keep posting. PJ