Originally Posted by J9NoWine

Wow! I am actually doing it...This is Day 50 sober for me and my first time ever actually writing anything about my sobriety so please be patient. I have been following SR since Day 1 and sincerely believe this community has been the reason that I have made it this far.

I turned 50 last year and realized that I had not had a sober day (apart from my two pregnancies) in over 30 years. My vice is wine (white specifically) and had gradually crept up to two bottles a night during the week and non stop from morning to night on the weekends. I basically was unable to function without a full glass in my hand and every day was beginning to become the same mind-numbing drudgery to the point that I couldn't stand myself anymore and wanted to stop but just couldn't imagine a life without drinking.

A bit of background. I am the mother of two teenage boys, have a stressful/demanding job with a long commute and my partner travels approximately every second week for work...so wine has been my crutch to get through the long stressful and somewhat lonely weeks but I have let it get out of control.

Funny how life sometimes work though.. In January I had been to see my doctor who was concerned over some recent blood work results, high blood pressure, and recent weight gain. This ended in an honest "come to Jesus" chat that was very teary (on my part) with a definite plan in place.

Week one was brutal with withdrawal with the following weeks becoming much easier however the last week or so have been much more mentally challenging (ie: depression, despair, low energy...blah, blah). Friends and family have been very supportive as it was quite obvious that I was struggling.

Quitting drinking is the hardest thing that I have ever done in my life and I am desperate not to go back to being that pathetic, controlled person who was missing out on her life and the true joy of being involved and present in the boys lives.

I have considered joining a local AA group but have been hesitant as it just doesn't feel like the right fit for me. I have been doing a ton of reading (books, sobriety blogs, etc.) and wonder if this is enough to be successful long term.

Any advice?

J9