I fit the pretty much textbook definition of an alcoholic. Countless attempts at quitting for good and failing along with an inability to stop drinking once I start. But I've self-flagellated over wanting to convince everyone around me that I'm an alcoholic too. People I drank with would not disagree. But some, esp. in my family, who I did not drink with, don't seem to really buy into it.
This only really bothers me in the context of whether I "need" to go to AA or not.
But y'all make a good point. It's not whether I fit someone else's stereotypical visage of an alcoholic - stumbling and mumbling, unkempt, brown paper bag in hand. It's that I want to give up drinking.
Even in AA, the only requirement for membership is a desire to quit drinking. It does not say it's a requirement to be an alcoholic (although most are I presume).