I've actually only been reading here for about a year maybe, although I did register a long time ago, just didn't realize it was THAT long ago. So yes, thank you for the welcome! Nice to meet you.
Thank you for the kind words.... I know in my head I've pulled myself out of some very dark places, but I don't really spend any time feeling proud or like I've accomplished anything other than what everyone else in the world does...learn to live the best life they can with what they have.
I actually owe a lot of that to my parents...although he never succeeded very long term, my dad gave an honest shot many times at quitting for good. So I had a childhood filled with rehabs and their family groups/weeks, Alateen, and my mom was in Al-Anon for many years before she divorced my dad. So lots of education and exposure early on. Part of my difficulty with her at this stage in life is that she's always been put on this pedestal, not just by me but by everyone who knows her, as this strong independent woman who finally figured her stuff out, got the strength to leave my dad, and did it. And that's who she was...maybe not as soon as my childhood self needed her to be, but she was. So when it came to light how serious her own alcoholism has now become and I don't recognize her anymore, I miss that woman. I have to let go of the fantasy mom I thought she'd be in older age, because her golden years look nothing like I thought they would.
Anyway, thank you again for the welcome and your kind words.