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Old 03-13-2017, 04:04 PM   #8 (permalink)
Maudcat's Avatar

Join Date: Jul 2016
Location: Wareham, Mass
Posts: 6,868
Hi, flower. Welcome. Glad you found us, but sorry for the situation that brought you here.
Sure sounds like your husband is alcohol-dependent. As you likely know, from all you have read and from your time in Al-Anon, you can't control his behavior.
He is going to drink.
He also won't want you to leave. Alcoholics love having their enablers around.
Yet, they can't do the one thing that would keep loved ones there: stop drinking.
Please don't base his recovery, or lack of, on whether you are there or not.
It has nothing to do with you. Though he may say it does.
It doesn't.
Will he "spiral out of control" if you aren't living there? Maybe.
But as you have observed, he has been doing a pretty good job of spiralling out of control, with or without you.
Life with an addict is hard. Until they want to get sober, stop drinking, and work a solid recovery program, it is hell for those who love them
End of the day, you get to decide what you want to do. He will say the right things: I'll get help. I'll stop. I'll cut back.
And do the right things: no drinking during the week. No drinking on Sunday.
To get you to stay with him.
But, it won't last. Guarantee it. Eventually he will be back to his old routine.
You have the power to change things for you. He must want to change things for him.
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