Relapse at 5 days
Just found this site. I made it five days sober and then yesterday was craving beer so bad. My thought was that I didn't care about being sober if that's what it was gonna feel like. Intense malaise and nothing seeming to matter at all. None of the things I normally care about mattered at all. I just wanted to feel okay so badly. Ended up going and getting beer. Kinda bummed this morning. Scared I will just drink today cuz I messed up yesterday. I really really want to get sober. Not sure how to get through those periods of not caring about anything except feeling okay again. And wondering if and when that intense non stop craving ever goes away. I have a hard time even doing small things that need to get done like dishes. When I drink, I have no problem tackling the mundane burdens in life. Doing that sober feels like lifting a million pounds.