New with Question
Hi everyone,
I am new here with a question or two. I have been seeing someone for about 2.5 years now that is 4 years sober. He goes to meetings weekly and is doing well in that respect.
Recently, I have been thinking about or wanting to understand more about what he goes through. I mean, I always had an interest but did not want to overstep. He suggested awhile ago that I go to an Alanon meeting which I went to my first one the other night. It was ok, I did not share my story. It was more about me than I thought it would be. I know that is the point, I just did not know that beforehand.
Honestly, I felt a little out of place because I have never experienced him drinking. I have only known him as sober. This got me thinking about how and if I have been affected by his behavior up to this point.
My first thought was no and then I got thinking about it. He can be very moody, he gets into these negative head spaces and sleeps a lot when this is happening. He knows he suffers in some way from depression and SADs. He can be hard on himself as well. I do find that it can sometimes feel like he is pushing me away when he is going through these moods. He goes through bouts of buying things (related to different hobbies) and then a few months later totally junks his house out and wants to get rid of everything. I would say this happens almost like clock work from what I can tell. I try to be positive around him and supportive as much as possible and I give him space when I feel one of these cycles coming on.
Honestly, it can feel like I am dealing with 2 diffetent people sometimes. When he isn't being like this he is sweet, kind, supportive and helpful. I do find that sometimes he can be a little selfish or self involved, but nothing crazy.
I guess my question is, is this 'normal' behavior of an alcoholic/recovering alcoholic? (I know everyone will be different). Since I have never experienced him under the influence, I dont know. Is this behavior just his personality in general or is it BECAUSE he is an alcoholic he has these behavioral tendencies?
I hope my question makes sense.
Thank you for helping.