Old 03-09-2017, 12:21 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
ScaredWife29
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Join Date: Mar 2017
Posts: 42
Originally Posted by MicroMacro View Post
I'll address each line. First, you had an opportunity to address this two months before the wedding and didn't - that's all the first line means. What if ... ? You'll never know.

His previous behavior is a good indication of how he might act toward you after the intervention if you two are alone together. So - it's a good idea to prevent that from happening.

Good - the sooner the better. It's best to get these things over with. The anticipation is awful!

I think it's wise to stay with your aunt, but I also wonder what his behavior would look like in front of other people if you were there. (That's me being curious). And this speaks volumes "I took some of my valuables to her home yesterday and I am also moving some things into a storage unit today, in anticipation ... "

Wow. If that's not a sign of feeling threatened I don't know what is. Good for you for taking care of you (your things)!

No one has the right to tell you to do anything save someone in law enforcement. Divorce doesn't need to be addressed while all this is going on. Your husband's health, the intervention, and his behavior after are the things that matter today. One monumental event at a time ...

I encourage you to abandon the words should and shouldn't. They serve absolutely no purpose whatsoever.

And finally, in answer to all the questions , I offer - don't know, he could try, that depends - right?, no one here can answer that, no idea, no, and as long as you feel you need to.

Best.
I wish I did examine his behavior before the wedding. I had a really stressful wedding planning process, so I wasn't fully in a place to address it. I also was so shocked by his sudden outbursts. I also felt like it was too late to back out or postpone 2 months before. In the future, I will know that it is never too late to back out.

And I think thoughts of divorce would definitely be put aside while he deals with his alcoholism and sobriety, unless he really wants to divorce me or he does something so crazy that things are irreconcilable. His mom indicated that he shouldn't be making any major decisions until he is sober and she said she will make that clear to him. She said if he divorces me, he has to go to inpatient rehab. I also want to make sure I honor my vows and stick around long enough to help him, and also demonstrate to his family that I really am trying my best. If he is beyond help even after their intervention and after a few months have passed, I will have to let go.

But this is all supposing he responds well to the intervention.

I will also be curious about how he would act if I was there, but for my safety and for the sake of keeping the focus of the intervention on his drinking (and not our marriage), it is probably best that I stay away until I hear from his parents or him.
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