Originally Posted by
Corrae 
But what I want to know is how do I get myself to the spot where I'm not a puddle of tears over this and my stomach isn't in knots?
You didn't get to finish what you were saying. Your husband blew up at you and stormed off.
"Honey, I need to talk to you about your drinking." His reaction to that wasn't necessary for you to know there's a problem. However, his problem with alcohol is creating a new problem - an inability (or outright refusal) to communicate. If you could have had a discussion
with him, you would have left it with an understanding that
something was going to change (or not) about it. But you'd at least have had something to go on. As it stands right now - you've got nada.
Have you considered an intervention?
That looks drastic and extreme and it is. But the point of an intervention is to communicate the need for a person to address their issue. If you can't get there with your husband alone because he ends the conversation at the fist sentence he utters, nothing is going to change. You're just going to resent one another.
He'll resent you for suggesting he address something he has a close relationship with (it's interpreted by him as a threat because alcohol is important to him - that's why he gets angry) and you'll resent him for not getting help from him in terms of a solution (change in behavior).
The best way out is through ...
Ask for help.