I am relatively new to SR and have found a lot of great advice on here so far. I posted my full story in a separate thread, but long story short, my alcoholic husband and I are in our late 20s, have been married for less than 10 months, have been together for 4 years total (3 years, 3 months before marriage and lived together for a year before marriage). He started getting verbally abusive and acting psychotic 2 months before the wedding, but I went through with the wedding anyway (attributed his behavior to stress). The verbal abuse, psychotic behavior after he was alone, etc continued after the wedding. He vehemently denied he was drinking the whole time. Tried couples counseling for 6 months and that didn't work. He finally admitted he was an alcoholic in Oct 2016 (5 months into our marriage). He went to outpatient rehab for 2 months and then relapsed in Jan 2017. He tried getting sober again a few weeks later and relapsed again. He has been so verbally abusive, irritable, out of control, makes vague suicidal threats, threatens to divorce me daily, and leaves to get a hotel room when he is drunk and mad at me (he admitted he does this to get away and drink more). He drinks any time he is home alone, so I had to stop going out with friends and socializing. Finally, last week, after he once again went to a hotel room for the night, I called his parents and told them about his alcoholism and abusive behavior. They are planning to do an intervention.
The intervention is tomorrow. His parents are driving down to our apartment and bringing someone with a ton of AA experience. His parents have indicated I should not be there for it. I am basically out of the loop now and have left it in their hands (his mom has a ton of experience with alcoholism in her family). I plan to stay at my aunt's tomorrow night. I took some of my valuables to her home yesterday and I am also moving some things into a storage unit today, in anticipation of him getting really upset during the intervention.
I have already been told to divorce him, and I plan to, if the intervention doesn't work or he leaves me for telling his parents. I need some advice on how I should expect the intervention to go. I am so nervous that he will hate me for telling his parents. He indicated in the past that he wanted them to know, so they could help him get sober, but then backtracked on that once he started drinking again. Recently, he has told me he doesn't want them to know. I feel that he will feel this is a betrayal and leave me for it (he threatens divorce all the time anyway).
I told his parents last Friday and made the intervention plan on Saturday. On Sunday, my husband said he doesn't want to drink anymore. He has been 5 days sober, but he also hasn't had a chance to be alone and drink (he relapses and drinks when alone). He is also seeing a psychiatrist tomorrow. But the wheels of intervention are already in motion for tomorrow and I can't ask his parents to not come anymore, especially since he has already tried and failed to get sober by himself twice. At this point, I had no choice but to involve them.
I am so nervous about his reaction. Will he accept it and get help? Will he get mad and hate me and turn his parents against me? Where will I be living next week? Will I still be able to go on the trip we planned to see my family (who live across the country) next week? The only things in my control are getting my valuables out of the apartment, staying away myself, and waiting to hear from him or his parents about how the intervention went. I am scared
How will this go? Can anyone predict? And how long should I stay at my aunt's for?