Originally Posted by
Algorithm 
Behappy,
The Beast doesn't care about your suffering, so it will not be deterred by that. The Beast is a creature of depression, has a "life sucks" attitude, and equates abstinence with its own death. It will try to push you to the brink with macabre thoughts, but only to squeeze a drink from you as a 'nicer' alternative.
Just let it starve, and it will let you go.
Hope this helps.
Thank you so MUCH!! I always look forward to your responses. I feel better tonight. Was finally able to eat a full meal and be back to my old self. This original post is just how powerful IT can be if I let it. I went downstairs tonight to do laundry and seriously had to hold my legs to get down there just from the shaking. It is sickening to me. I've done tons of 5k's, and 1/2 marathons. I could not even walk down the stairs. IT had all of me the last 10 days.
I now have a house that's not been attended too for 10 days and about 10 loads of laundry to attend too. I don't think I've ever checked out for this long. I have a lot more reading to do in the RR book. My daughter seemed to need some quality time with me tonight as I've been "asleep" for 10 days. It felt really good to dispose of the garbage bag of vodka bottles I've acquired while they were at school. I spent most of my time with her tonight, which was awesome. She starts track tomorrow and is super stoked.
Thank you all for your input. I think this will be my little spot until I can get acclimated with my new sober lifestyle. I've said before I've done a little bit of aa, smart and cr. I don't like meetings. I think I've left almost all of those meetings and bought a bottle on the way home. I do know they've helped so many though. Maybe I just picked some bad meetings, but all of that talking about alcohol and how it affected life's didn't help ME. I walked into one AA meeting and just the stale smoke smell and unwashed bodies overtook the meeting hall. I sat in the back row and could not get out fast enough.
Again, thank you all! :-)