I remember when still drinking and faced with any sort of loss, like a relationship, all I could think about was how much it hurt ME and how much I needed that pain to stop. My solution was to desperately go to that "not feel anything" place by drinking even more. To just shut down and not think about it and completely numb myself as much as possible.
Although when I did lose my job back then, I was more relieved than anything, because that was one thing that interfered with my drinking the most.
Because alcohol was the only solution I knew at the time, the thought of giving it up would have been the same as the thought of stopping breathing. Incomprehensible.
When I did finally stop drinking the first time, I was also resigned to my life being over. (I did find out how untrue that was eventually.)
Years later when I got involved with a drinking alcoholic while I was sober, I had the same feelings of seeing him like a lost little boy trapped in his addiction and I had a hard time letting go and "getting it" that there was nothing I could do to get him sober.