Hi Dandylion. Thanks for your response. I agree completely with what you've said. I've been reading about alcoholism for what seems like forever. Actually, I've read everything you recommended at least several times each. I have literally spent hours reading about it, and trying to understand my husband's situation. And I can honestly say that I get it. At first I read to see if there was something I could do to help him. To save our marriage and family. And then the knowledge led me to the realization that nothing I can say or do will make a difference. It's all on him. Which is when I knew that I needed to leave. And it breaks my heart. So I do have a thorough understanding and appreciation of his situation. I'm just fighting with my own emotions, which are really at an all-time frenzy right now. My head knows not to take any of this personally, but my heart is having some issues. It will be better once we go to live with my parents next week. I know that. But I'm struggling A LOT right now. It's overwhelming and painful. I'm in Al-Anon, and attending regular counseling with a women's shelter counselor and an addictions counselor. Some days, like today, I wake up pretty much in tears. And so I posted about how I was feeling this morning. Feeling better now, especially after reading all of the comments to my post. And I have counseling after lunch. My emotions are running the gamut right now and I'm feeling a lot of guilt about leaving someone I love. And feeling terrified that he's going to die soon (at only 47). I know I can't change that. It will happen whether we're here or not. But I don't want him to lose his life. He's like a little, lost and hurt boy inside a man's body. Self-medicating the emotional pain away. And it is heartbreaking to know that my only choice now is to walk away and save my kids and I. So...yeah...I guess I'm just saying that I get it. And I know I shouldn't take it personally or be hurt by it. But my heart isn't quite there yet. Thanks for your words of wisdom.