Sometimes I think that, for the alcohol-dependent person, it's almost a relief that the relationship is done. One more thing that they don't have to try to manage.
I have watched my alcohol-dependent sib just push things away for years. It's about lowering expectations bit by bit until no one expects anything of them anymore. But..that behavior diminishes them as well. The things that I do as part of every day living: trip to the store, writing a check to pay a bill, shoveling the sidewalk after a light snow, just boggle my sib. It's all part of this monstrous disease.
I am so sorry that your husband doesn't value you or the children you have had together. I know you wish he would realize how very much he is losing. He can't, not just now. Maybe someday.
Please take care of yourself and your children. Peace.