. I want to remember how it felt to enjoy waking up and liking myself. For quite some time now I have not enjoyed much, and I certainly haven't liked myself.
I want to be proud of myself...and although no one in my professional or personal life really knows much because I have hid all of this, I feel like a farce. So, I am making the change my life. Even though it feels like climbing a sand dune with a 50 lb. rucksack on my back.
Maybe you do remember what it was like to wake up that way...and you want to get that back. You can like yourself again. You can wake up feeling good....it may start out slow.... like you just wake up feeling not quite as bad...but give it time....and there may be times when you just feel so much regret over having been wasteful. Learn to forgive yourself. Regret is also like carrying a big rucksack up a sand dune.