Try and work through it jlg.
Trust me: noone would stay sober long term if they thought they lost out on the deal.
There are some really awesome benefits of being sober - rediscovering the real you, the freedom of not being enslaved anymore and the will to do whatever you want on any given day, closer and more real relationships with people...the absence of guilt and shame...
but all these things take a little time.
It won't always be this hard or the effort so conscious, I promise
D