Thread: Class of March 2017 Support Thread Part One
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Old 03-01-2017, 01:58 PM
  # 41 (permalink)  
phoenix75
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2015
Location: Western Washington State, USA
Posts: 18
Originally Posted by sugarangel View Post
Hi guys....
I'm not new to SR, and usually post in the SA forum, but it can be pretty quiet down there, and I could really use more support and help right now. I am not sure, though, if you all would be ok with me joining. I am an alcoholic, and have been ever since my very first drink. When I drink, I drink to get drunk. Not buzzed, not tipsy. Flat on my face drunk. That is how I drink. So, I know that alcohol is something I can't ever do. And, I haven't had a drink in 3 years. Three years on the 14th of this month. But, I have no pride in that, because the only reason I haven't drank is that I am addicted to the pain meds my doc prescribed me 8 years ago.

Now, I am trying to get off all my meds. It has been a real struggle, and I have been doing everything I can to get completely sober. There is a lot more to my story, but I don't want to hog the thread. So, to distill it down a bit, I was hoping I could join the March class for additional support going through this?? If I don't stop everything for good, I am going to lose my home, my family, everything. My situation has become that dire. I recently started therapy, and NA meetings, and I am posting here all the time. I am trying to give myself every chance I can to make this work, to be the person I want and know I can be if I could only get it together and stay clean.
I am a serial relapser who absolutely can't afford to relapse again or I will lose everything. Seriously. I am alone and scared, and desperately need the support of others who are struggling too, like me. Dee suggested I join a class, and he has always been right about his advice, even when I can't see at the time that it is the right advice. But, I am not sure if I fit in here because I am a drug addict and not solely an alcoholic. But lately, I have been having terrible cravings for booze. I even had a dream about being out at a bar, trying to get a drink, but I couldn't find the bartender. I just feel really fragile and scared that one perfect storm will bring me down. I feel like I am living in a house of cards.
I am sorry I took up so much space here. Just trying to explain my situation. I am hoping that I can join this class?? Would it be okay??
I would really like to get to know all of you, and share this journey with everyone.
Thank you for 'listening'.
Hi sugarangel you ABSOLUTELY can join!!! Great to have you here! I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. You definitely should be proud of yourself to have 3 yrs of no drinking regardless the reason. Wish I did!!! Glad to hear that your also seeking other means to help yourself as well. You should be proud of yourself! Try not to listen to that little devil in the back of your head that tells you you are tempted by alcohol - kick 'um to the curb and just focus getting off the meds safely. I think a lot of times all of us addicts are our own worst enemies and we have to change our mindset with everything we've got and it can be done!! You don't have to be a serial relapser now. That's in the past..focus on the here and now. Try not to worry about your situation right now. It might be making your AV worse. Start somewhere to find confidence in yourself even if its something little and move from there. Tell yourself and believe you can do it cause you absolutely can!!!! Welcome
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