I'm glad you've found a way that works for you Brenda
but even though we all have the same problem (addiction) we're all different.
I came to the conclusion that it was the pressure that made me pick up. So I try and avoid it as much as possible. I still study, I still develop, I challenge myself and I do uncomfortable things when they need to be done. What I don't do any longer is to push myself when I don't really have to. I learn to listen to myself, I learn to say "no", I learn to forgive me, I learn to accept I can't be perfect all the time and I can't please everyone.
Btw it's not the kind of pushing yourself to do something when you just feel a bit lazy and unmotivated. Like when you don't wanna leave the house on a rainy day but then you give yourself a little push and go somewhere with your friends and end up having the best time. Or staying up that extra hours late night before you have to hand in a paper.
I'm talking about pressuring yourself about every aspect of your life all day everyday. Which I did. I tried to do everything perfect in no time, cook healthy meals, always keep the house tidy and clean, getting perfect grades, always being helpful, taking care of others' problems, while always looking pretty and being nice and polite to everyone and never disappointing anyone. And if I felt like I failed I beat myself up by adding more pressure.
Drinking was the only "flaw" I allowed myself to have. But I realised I was just about to collapse. It didn't feel like my life anymore.