Hi Bnknzer,
I am so sorry that you had to experience that loss. Although you are out of the relationship, and regardless of if you return to it, I would highly recommend you check out some Al-Anon literature, and if you are up to it, a meeting or two. I have found that many people like me are attracted to alcoholic and addictive personalities. Since few of us want to spend our life alone, it is a good idea, at least for me, to make sure I am at the top of my game if I am going to deal with these issues in my life. Self-love and recovery from the effects of alcoholism, whether it be a parent, child, spouse, boss, or significant other, is important for us to move on and continue growing in our journey to be ok, regardless whether the alcoholic is drinking or not.
You may choose not to do that now, but keep it in mind. You might notice that there are a lot of alcoholics and addicts out there, and that many pass through your life. Al-Anon has given me a place to be safe, have people in my life who have been through many of the same experiences, and have gone on to grow through them and become happier and stronger than before.
I wish you the best on your journey. Magic