"The AV that creeps into your head and stays there for the 15 minute drive solely to buy liquor. How do you stop that?"
I tell it to shut the **** up and get out of my head. I get angry with it because listening to it has never once served me well.
"I do ok and can firmly say I will NEVER drink again, but relapse after relapse after relapse proves differently."
I used to say that I was a chronic relapser. Then one day a decade after my first attempt to stop drinking, I realized that in all that time, I'd only really relapsed once when I'd managed to stay sober one week shy of a year. All the other times - I hadn't quit - I'd paused.
"Five days ago I was 100% certain I'd never drink again. Now I don't trust myself."
I had to replace drinking with something else. Something that would require my time and attention on a daily basis. Meetings and whatnot weren't enough for me. So - I decided to go to school to become a certified life coach.
What could you replace drinking with?
Best!