I should say that that in and of itself says a lot, that I depend so heavily on others for my mental well being. But he was such a support for me for a year, through rehab and after, I just don't know how to go forward now and get back there. I have started with a new doctor, but you know how it is at the beginning, it is difficult to go back over everything, the history, etc. It is difficult to build trust to find that groove with another person. I am really suffering over the loss of such an important relationship in my recovery and my life.