Sorry for your awful situation. Sadly, it's all too common.
Here's a link to the Family and Friends forum here on Sober Recovery where you will find many others who have gone through exactly what you're going through, and can offer you their support, experience, strength, and hope:
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
You don't mention Al-Anon in your post -- have you sought help there?