I don't know if there is anything you can do or say. The desire to change must come from him. Nothing my family said made any difference to me when I was in the throes of alcoholism. When I hit bottom, I knew it. My family actually STOPPED enabling me and when I was all alone, and had nothing left, I got sober. There's no one size fits all approach. What works for one person may not work for another. I will keep you in my prayers.