I find it helpful to take names out of an event to look at it objectively. Usually I can understand why the individuals involved made the choices they made or reacted in the ways that they did, in light of the situation they were in.
The hardest things for me to accept are times when I have hurt other people. I have to keep in mind that I was not fully aware of what I was doing. When people hurt me, they were not fully aware of what they were doing. Hurting people hurt people. It's the same reason we drink. We don't know what to do with all the hurt we're carrying around, so we try to numb it with alcohol or drugs or sex or whatever, and we end up acting out our pain on other people.
I'm glad you are beginning to recognize that the relief you get from drinking is only temporary. I had a very hard time quitting drinking, bcause I was SO conditioned to automatically reach for the bottle any time I had an unpleasant emotion. I quit, I rode out the withdrawal, knowing it was temporary.. and then I just stopped being afraid to face my feelings. I just let whatever was going come up, come up. And some really dark stuff did, and it was excruciating, but I HAD to learn that my feelings were temporary and weren't going to hurt me. Then I started to respond to stressful emotions differently, until eventually, alcohol wasn't my go-to coping mechanism anymore. I didn't need it.
Sorry if I went on and on.. I just passed six months and I'm happy about it, especially after going through quite a bit of depression these past couple months. The main factor in my depression was resentments.