To be honest, this sounds more like something for your resentment inventory than relationships / sex inventory. The questions about your sexuality may be best dealt with by speaking to someone qualified to advise. It sounds to me like the resentment that you're carrying around about other people regarding this issue is the bit that is causing you grief to be honest.
I think the things I got most relief over when doing my step 5, were the very things I had most fear around. I now understand that fear is not Godly. It never leads to good, or loving acts. For me, it was (and often still is) fear of one thing or another that keeps humility at some distance from my reach. And it is through humility that we can feel closest to God.
Sometimes people do have some things that they choose to disclose to someone other than their sponsor. Why not pray on it. Usually when I pray to God to send me the dummies guide to His Will on something he obliges one way or another (whether I like it or not lol).
It is probably worth reposting this question on the 12-step area as well...
Alcoholism-12 Step Support - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information Step 5 - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
And also reading / rereading step 4 and 5 in the AA book '12 Steps and 12 Traditions ' (may even be free to read or download online.)
Also, there are some great speaker recordings on step 4 and 5. I found them very useful when steeling myself to do mine. My personal favourites were Sandy Beach, Earl Hightower, Clancy, and Charlie C...
AA Step 4 Speaker Tapes | RecoveryAudio.org http://www.recoveryaudio.org/step-5-speaker-tapes
Just out of interest, have you actually written this stuff down yet? For your eyes? I only ask because some of the things I struggled most with I had not been able to voice to a counsellor. I just could NOT get the words past my lips. Shortly after my final counselling session was when I listened and HEARD 'How it Works' properly for the first time and got my sponsor. I also found it incredibly difficult to think through certain things and very painful to write them down, even just for my own eyes. Praying helped. As did the speaker recordings. When it came to actually doing step 5 I was petrified (as most people are), but my sponsor was far less phased by my truths than I had been. And in fact, despite her being quite a senior lady now, she was able to share back similar experiences of her own.
The point of step 4 and 5 are NOT to judge. They just help us to recognise our character defects and the impact that they have on our life, our decisions, and our relationships. It is through this self-knowledge that we can start to change and grow.
If you have not yet chanced upon Nadia Bolz-Weber's book Accidental Saints, I would recommend it to you. She is a 12-stepping alcoholic in recovery and (now) a priest. I found her book to be a great comfort when dealing with what seemed like the enormity of my sins and flaws. I think Lent it quite a beautiful time to be doing your step 5. What better way to show gratitude for Jesus Christ willingly dying for our sins, and for God's amazing love and grace.
And you know, God does not make mistakes. Whatever the nature of your sexuality, he created you, and loves you as you are. Your job is to learn to do the same, and that is something that the 12-step process is great at teaching us, step by step.
Wishing you all the best for your sobriety and recovery. BB