I have a similar experience with an ex. When I started my journey of sobriety. I learned to pray for those that give me resentments. I prayed for my ex daily for a couple of weeks and miraculously those long felt resentments have disappeared. The memories comeback and I feel resentment creeping back and I pray. As for forgiving people, I never forgave anyone it didn't fit into my pity party. Sobriety has taught me that me forgiving someone is my way to let go. I can't control anyone therefore if someone wrongs me, then I take my inventory to see my part in it and forgive them for them being sick then pray for them. This doesn't mean they get to be apart of my life.