Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
BUT IN THE BEGINNING, there is really no such thing as "too much recovery"--certainly there should eventually be balance, but it's way too early to expect that. And if it's been more than a year and he's still not engaged with the family (assuming he remains sober) then the "balance" issue can be addressed.
This pretty much nails it. I understand it is frustrating, but tackling alcoholism for most, is the most difficult thing they will ever do in their lives, and need to put 100% of themselves into sobriety to be successful, and that comes above everything, including spouses, children, etc,..
I know this can be frustrating, but it's what needs to be done, especially in early sobriety where people are the most susceptible to relapse. Like mentioned, once he gets about a year under his belt, things should settle down. Hang in there, and keep going to your alanon meetings!