Originally Posted by
DNM13 
She said she thinks I shouldn't be in a relationship and that I should work on myself. I know a lot of that is BS and that she basically picked the single/partying lifestyle over me.
I agree. It is YOUR decision on whether you should or shouldn't be in a relationship not hers. It sounds like it is 100% BS to me.
Originally Posted by
DNM13 I am at the point where I want to desperately move on. I see many of my friends who have been through divorces, around the same time my relationship ended, and are already bouncing back. Most of them have other girls they are talking to or have begun to pursue romantic interests, and meanwhile I have nothing. I don't get it either. I am a good looking guy, fit, muscular, intelligent, have a well paying established career, have an easy going go with the flow type of personality, and yet I feel like I am just meandering through life completely unnoticed. I am 32 years old now and I feel like the prime of my life is being wasted away.
I TOTALLY understand what you feel like. It was extremely frustrating for me in early recovery to see other guys (that had next to nothing to offer) slaying it with the ladies. In a sober living house I lived below a guy who was semi-********. He would have at least one new girl per week and I would have to listen to the mattress rattling at night and the next morning. It started really messing with me after a while, and every time I heard that mattress rattling I said to myself 'OP....you are not good enough'.
I ended up going through a series of 'relationships' with women in the rooms. It helped me deal with the ego issues, because I desperately needed to feel wanted by somebody. Things didn't work out long-term, but it definitely made recovery more interesting and fun. Having a meaningful relationship with a newcomer is about like trying to drink coffee with a fork. Each new girl was an upgrade from the prior one though, and I learned a lot about relationships over the course of the first year.
It is a whole different ballgame meeting women sober, and takes time to get used to. I only met women at bars and clubs when I was actively using. Given the fact that you have a lot going for you, it will just be a matter of time before you tie one on. Many of the women in the rooms have serious self-esteem issues, and might be too intimidated to show you any interest. You might do better outside the rooms.
Have you looked into social events where you could meet women in a low pressure environment? Meetup is a good website for people with various hobbies that get together. That is a good way to meet women sober. A few other sober places that come to mind are: malls, churches, grocery stores, community service opportunities, hospitals, coffee shops and any community events.
By the way, what you are describing is an extremely common issue. I have a handful of sponsees right now, and the majority of them are going through this exact same thing.
Good luck.