Happiness and Being Sober
I am 4 days sober - the longest I've been dry in months. However, I know that I will relapse at some point. It is pretty inevitable. Some may think I am being too defeatist, or that I'm too negative. That may very well be the case.
However, the reason I am certain I will relapse is not because of things like cravings or seeing others drink (even though these are pretty significant triggers for me). The reason I know I will relapse is cause I'm very unhappy with a lot of things in my life. And when I 'm thinking about the matters that make me unhappy, my urge to drink is at its strongest. Almost uncontrollable.
Last few days I have managed to keep this debilitating feelings at bay. But it won't last. At some point, my unhappiness will overwhelm me and booze will seem like my only salvation. And I don 't think I 'm strong enough to resist.
This website and the wonderful people here have made me realize that being on the wagon isn't only about ridding the chemical dependence your body has for booze; it is also about healing yourself, mentally and emotionally. And healing myself mentally and emotionally is something I also need to do in order to overcome this thing.