The beautiful al-anon recovery program is for my own recovery.Im sick when im thinking that i caused another disease,trying to cure another disease,and trying to control another disease.This is where my own illness plays into the family disease of alcoholism.When im not able to live and let another live.recovery,for myself no matter what another is doing/not doing.Ive never seen in our recovery books in al-anon,it talking about being co-dependant.. Ive never seen it myself.An enabler is when im taking away anothers conquences of their own actions away from them.If i do this.Im causing more harm than good,from my own opinion here.Once i start my own recovery,what others do or don't do doesnt have the power on me that it had before.Im able to have peace within the storms.Im free then,to give and recieve love from another,no longer on conditions.im in a relationship because thats where i want to be,not have to be.Makes a difference.And am able to seperate anothers thoughts/actions from my own.Others can see this as they want to,.its ok.Because they don't live in my skin.I do,,,lol.But if im wanting approval,i will very rarely get this from others.And this is where i need to work on myself,here.,if bothered about this.Learning to accept again,life on lifes terms.Others may think alot of things about me,whats important,is what do i think about me?What do i think about my relationship?All can throw the lables at me.its up to me what i accept,as the truth for me...smile...