Hi Alex
Try to think of it as your last day 1. You never have to feel this bad again so long as you don't drink. I have just got sick of it all and just hope that this is the last time and I don't relapse. I hate the anxiety and depression, but just 3 weeks In I do feel a lot better. Not all the time but it's better than the anxiety and anger that I was full of between binges.
Stay strong and look after yourself.