I realize that I am greiving my caretaking role along with the relationship. My triggers are those that remind me of my tasks in life. In the end there was love and respect. The relationship had dwindled.
That lingering end was/is hard. The start of greiving before the end. I was able to say goodbye but was not able to control or stop the process. It was in HP's hands. My role was in the peripheral. The transition times in life are so difficult. In the end, as hard as it is, the loss was okay. (I lack a better way to describe the end.)
We will be okay and create a new normal. I will have more time to focus on the children, family, friends and myself. I will focus on my hobbies and interests. I will remember with love and yet move forward to a new phase in our lives.