Originally Posted by
LexieCat 
It's really up to you. You could tell someone you're trying to find a sponsor, and ask if they would be willing to meet with you to see if you're a good "fit" for each other. Or you could just invite someone for coffee, see how things go and then ask if she'd be willing to sponsor you.
LC, sadly i'm banking on my social awkwardness to mess me up in talking to new people, lol. But really, these are both fantastic approaches (without feeling awkward or forced) that i'll likely use, to both search for a sponsor and try to make new friends.
Originally Posted by
LexieCat The thing is, you can't take a "no" as a personal rejection. Some people feel they don't have enough to offer as a sponsor (e.g., they haven't worked the steps formally, themselves, with a sponsor--which should be a prerequisite), some are too busy with other commitments (including, maybe, too many others they are sponsoring), and for some, they may like you a lot but just feel that it wouldn't be a good "fit."
I remember there was a section in Codependent No More that said something along the lines of disassociating everything as being related to you, a.k.a. they aren't necessarily saying 'no' because of me personally. I appreciate that reminder, especially in a really vulnerable time such as finding a sponsor. I also agree that a sponsor should work a steps, and I'm honestly surprised there aren't as concrete guidelines for sponsorship in Al-Anon as there are in AA (from my perception, at least.. I may be completely wrong here)
Originally Posted by
LexieCat But most people are very honored to be asked. And if the person you ask isn't available, you can ask them if they have any suggestions as to who might be a good sponsor for you.
Another great suggestion! Surely the individual i'm interested in (for feeling like a good fit, same values, etc.) would likely be friends with people of likemindedness! #genius
Thanks, LC!