This also has very little to do with control. It's more about being able to state clearly what your expectations and boundaries are in any given relationship. We all have a right to refuse behavior that we find unacceptable from anyone we happen to be in a relationship with. In fact, it's the opposite of codependency to say, this is what I need and expect from you. If you are unwilling or unable, I feel it's best for me to leave this relationship.