Yes, hearthealth...so many of us have lost a parent or significant caretaker.....so, we do understand what it is like. I found that, after the loss of a parent, that one does a lot of thinking of the "big picture" of their life. sort of "reviewing" it all...until, finally coming to a new acceptance.....
You are, actually, grieving two major "losses" at the same time..
You are doing well, I think, with so m uch on your p late....