so...I have cancelled my AH's visa. Now I am scared of the fallout if and when he finds out/I tell him.
He is only in Vietnam on a spouse/dependant visa. As he left me last October and is living/working illegally here he no longer qualifies and I was increasingly uncomfortable with continuing to support/enable his stay here - especially as he left to drink and seems in no hurry to return to AA or to make any amends...or even to have any contact. My DD is also frightened of bumping into him and his/her reaction. We are always looking over our shoulders here.
My dilemma is - do I tell him he has no visa..or not.
If I tell him he may exact revenge; cause trouble at my work/home; sell the house that is in his name but belongs to me; threaten us in other ways.
If I don't tell him then I continue to be wary of meeting him; DD will still be anxious and he will be building up a daily fine for overstaying his vise plus when he does leave the country he will not be allowed in and is likely to be deported back to Turkey.
The visa I cancelled was valid until July. It will be difficult for him to obtain another visa here as a Turkish citizen. I am hoping to wait until the house sale is blocked by my divorce case.
He has happily left me with debts that I have only just discovered;emptied my bank account by stealing my bank card to finance his new life; and has had no contact since the end of November - not even a a happy birthday for DD who he has raised since she was 5yrs old; refused to sign any divorce papers meaning I have to go down the expensive longer divorce route and appears to have no remorse or conscience. He has shed us like a snake shed its skin and has found himself a new group of friends including a young Vietnamese girlfriend
I think I was hoping that he would pull himself back from this relapse and get his sorry ass back into AA and feel some guilt for how he has treated all of us - so I hung on - not that I planned to take him back, but just to make some sense out of all we have put up with for so long.
Of course if I were better at making decisions I would not have been in that situation for so long. Hate to be unfair but not prepared to continue being abused either.
Help!!!
