I always felt a hole in my soul the earliest I remember feeling this way was when I was 4 years old.. Alcohol filled that hole- until the very worse possibilities of life happened to me. I do not drink. I work very hard to figure out what that hole was and NEEDS to be filled with. To grow into the person I should have been, am becoming.
An oldie saying here-
'What do you get when a drunken horse thief does not drink?' A sober horse thief.
The answer for me is working out what went wrong, facing that crap- feeling the growth in me and having the courage to do something about it. Takes time. I am not happy- but I am alive and grimly determined to not only survive and exist- but to grow and thrive. We can all do this- with support on a daily basis in our every day lives. From professionals, AA. SMART. SR.
Keep up the good fight, poster child. PJ